Lennon Torres: I was groomed online, youth deserve a safer internet

Lennon shares how she was groomed online

Transcripts are autogenerated

Cindy Peralta: Today, we have the privilege of hearing from survivors and advocates who have lived through these harms and are here to help empower you to understand what is happening and how you can help make a difference. It’s my honor to introduce them to you now. First, we have Lennon Torres, campaign and community manager at the He initiative. Lennon bridges the gap between tech policy and LGBT, plus advocacy through inclusive storytelling.

Lennon is a champion for transgender representation, collaborating with major brands like Marc Jacobs and Nike.

Lennon, you have an interesting background. You worked as a professional dancer on reality TV, and we’re sort of thrust into the public eye at an early age. Can you tell us a little bit more about your experience growing up online, and some of the harms that you faced?

Lennon Torres: Absolutely. Cindy, thank you so much for having me. Everyone. Even as I got older, I didn’t understand or know how to articulate the different things and struggles I faced online as a young person. I often chalked it up to having a unique childhood experience, but really, me and many other kids were pawns in a bigger game. We didn’t know we were playing.

Growing up, I was training up to 35 hours a week on top of being a full time student. This got even more intense because by the time I was 13 years old, I was catapult kid into the public eye, taking my passion for dance into the professional industry. Because of my time on reality TV and my professional dance career in general.

I was making a name for myself across the country and was dealing with what it meant to feel watched or studied. I will always remember the first time someone asked me for a picture when I was out shopping with my mom. It was a nice feeling. I was getting recognition for years of hard work and what extroverted young person wouldn’t love innocent attention from strangers?

I certainly did at first while navigating a shift in my day to day life. I was also experiencing a shift online. I was 13 years old when I started working professionally, and it was also the same age I got my very first iPhone. The first thing I did was download Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. It’s what all of my friends had and I couldn’t wait to get into the fun.

I posted my very first Instagram post on May 16th, 2012. It was of me and my sister and that my and my follower count was under 100 followers of close friends and family. That quickly shifted when that follower count jumped up to over 50,000 followers, and most of which were complete strangers. At this point, anyone could message you on Instagram.

I remember getting a flurry of messages. Some were really positive. Some were negative, specifically surrounding my seemingly queer identity and going as far as to be considered death threats. What ended up being the most harmful were messages encouraging me to explore on Omegle like platforms that were specifically for gay people. It is important to note that at this point in time, I was only starting to understand what being gay even meant.

And so the idea of being able to learn more about that from others similar to me, was enticing, even for a young queer person with a supportive family. It was something I really wanted to do. Young people crave seeing themselves in others, and I thought I would find that on these gay chat sites. So there I was, checking a box that I was indeed a teen plus, and then I was in with unrestricted access as a 13 year old.

Some people I came across were normal enough. Some were even nice to chat with. And as I got more and more comfortable clicking through different people, I started coming across more and more people that resulted in similar experiences. They would be nice to me until I would decline showing them more of me, to which they would threaten something along the lines of I have screenshots of your face, and if you log off, I will post them everywhere.

This is a scary thought for a young person, but for someone who had been in the public eye, it put a pit in my stomach in my head. They now had the power. This was essentially what led me to performing sexual acts for these grown adults. This went on for a while, and yes, I did not have to go on these platforms, but there were enough.

Not a lot, but enough positive experiences that drew me back to the sites. I was in a cycle of shame, guilt and curiosity, and I had no concept of how to break it. Sadly, coming out and having my first high school boyfriend was what pulled me away from the sites for good. I was able to get out of there before anything too horrible happened to me.

I always say it was my loving and affirming parents that got me out, although not directly. It was the simple fact I knew that I was safe to be myself and pursue a gay relationship. That allowed me to take the online exploration into my day to day life. As a teenager. This experience is not rare, unfortunately. It is even more common among LGBTQ+ youth than our counterparts.

I recently worked on an essay with New York Times bestselling author Jonathan Hite and NYU researcher Zach Roush that works to dispel many of the myths that Big Tech perpetuates. Regulation and safeguards will harm marginalized communities. Thanks to what each of us brought to this piece, it breaks down why our most vulnerable are actually the ones who need the regulation the most.

Social media companies have shown over and over again that they will not solve these problems on their own. They need to be forced to change. Young people agree. A recent Harris poll found that 69% of 18 to 27 year olds support a law requiring social media companies to develop a child safe account option for users under 18, 72% of LGBTQ+ members of Gen Z do, as well.

We are in a time of great division, one that leaves marginalized communities in panic when whispers of unintended harm create a blanket opposition. I want to be clear when I say that we, as the LGBTQ+ community should not let our guard down, but it is our responsibility to know and understand policies the best we can. Dispelling the myths that the Senate version of the Kids Online Safety and Privacy Act is something I care deeply about, because I lived a mild version of the possibility of harm that young LGBTQ+ kids are likely to face if we don’t act now.

It’s time we call out special interest groups and the power of money and politics, and ask those with blanket opposition to social media regulation. Whose side are you trying to stay on? I hope that my story inspires you to have more conversations about being safe online with the kids in your life. And furthermore, I encourage all parents and caregivers to foster a home where your kids feel supported and free of judgment.

That is the primary reason I’m sitting here today and am not in a different unfortunate fate. Be loud about the changes you want to see. As parents and caregivers. I will be right there with you and supporting you along the way. Thank you.

Cindy Peralta: Thank you so much, Lennon, for your vulnerability and for really helping folks to understand how easy it is for young people to find themselves in these risky situations online. And your story really highlights the double edged sword of technology today. You know, many of these apps foster that sense of community and that validation that so many of us are looking for, but they can also unleash this firehose of unwanted attention and dangerous situations, particularly for LGBTQ+ youth and for young people whose brains are still developing.

It’s often difficult to identify the harms that they’re experiencing, and sometimes even harder to know what to do or to see beyond those moments of crisis. You also mentioned your perspective on the role of tech companies, and I’ll share later what Thorn is doing to empower companies with the tools they need to better protect their users.